Well, I've been here a little more than 6 months, and finally I think I can say that I am truly settling in. When I first came, it was obvious to me that I really had no idea what was going on. I was swimming through my job pleased to be doing it, but knowing I was not as effective as I could be. Time went on, and I slowly grew more comfortable with my responsibilities as a recreation coordinator, but still, there was a level of familiarity I knew I hadn't reached. When I see staff who have been here longer, I see in their movements a kind of familiarity with their position and with the kids that makes things look easy. They know what's up, and the kids know it, too. What I've been missing, what I knew I was missing but couldn't name, was confidence. I'm good at positive self-talk. I encourage myself, I act confident, I walk tall, and when I decide to do something, I do it. Inside, though, I always have the nagging doubt about whether or not I'm doing things right, or doing the right thing. Just in the last week or two, though, that doubt has been fading away. I've noticed the change in myself, and I've noticed the change in the boys. The boys are very good at picking up on when they can or can't manipulate a staff. For a while, they picked up on their ability to manipulate me. If I wasn't sure exactly what I was doing, they knew, and they knew they could affect the outcome. They express that knowledge through obstinacy and defiance. They tell you how things should be (to them) and kick, scream, and yell to get what they want; because they know they can get it. Just in the last couple weeks, though, there's been a change. My confidence has flowered, and all the sudden, I'm either getting a lot less crap from the boys, or I'm just noticing it a lot less. I have a theory...
So, last Tuesday (February 8) we started a skiing program at La Salle. For two weeks in February (last and this) and two weeks in March, we'll be taking 8 kids skiing on Tuesday and 8 kids on Thursday. The boys we take are chosen based on their behavior grades in school the week previous. If the behavior grades are really good, the kid makes the list, if they aren't, he doesn't. I led both trips last week, and I'm leading one of the trips this week. I think this is where the change has really been dramatic. I've been handed a carrot, a sweet, juicy carrot, to hold out for the kids, and it's a carrot I know everything about. There is no way these kids can argue with me about any of it, because we both know that my experience in this is greater than theirs. Basketball was questionable, football the kids are clearly more experienced than I am, but skiing? All mine. When I go around campus now, boys are always asking me about when will they get to go skiing, and I have an answer ready. When kids make the list, I'm the one who tells them. When we go to the mountain, I'm the one who takes them. When they fall on the hill, I'm the one who helps them up. Having this ski program has really been for me like holding a carrot out to a wild rabbit. The rabbit would normally not let you go anywhere near it, but since you have a carrot, it lets you get a little closer, it opens an opportunity. Skiing is opening an opportunity for me with these boys.
There's something else, besides the ski program, that is changing how I interact with the boys. When I came here, I could never figure out what to talk to boys about. Do I ask them about school? How about home? About what they like to do? Every conversation was just a bit awkward, because I could never figure out how to break the ice. Now, though, the ice is finally broken. There are still some boys I don't know how to talk to, and those boys will continue to challenge me for a while, I'm sure, but with a lot of the boys I am finally at a point of familiarity where I can talk to them with depth. I know enough about their lives to ask real questions, to have actual conversations. The crux of this work is building relationships, and it is something I have been struggling with a lot since I came to Albany, but I really feel like I'm making progress. I'm optimistic.
To finish this entry, I want to tell a story that has been entertaining me for days. Last Monday I was putting together the list for Tuesday's ski trip, and part of the work there includes talking to kids to make sure they want to go on the trip. Well, I went up to Cusack, one of the divisions the boys live in, to talk to (student A) about going. While I was there, (student B) approached me about whether he was on the list. He asked because about 2 weeks before he had been on a sledding trip and asked me then about whether or not he would get to go skiing. I explained to him at the time that it would depend on his behavior in school, but that if he was doing well (which he typically does) then his chances would be very good. All he heard, of course, was "yes." Well, I answered his question by saying that his behavior grades the previous week weren't good enough to get him on the trip. He was upset, and left the conversation upset, but I didn't think too much of it.
The next morning I went into the cafeteria at breakfast to pull out the boys I needed for the day's trip. I went over to Cusack to get student A when student B, from about 25 feet away, called out "Hey Mr. Branch." I looked over and responded "what's up, (student B)? Good morning." His reply? "F*** you." I simply smiled, said thank you, and bid him good morning again. I found the whole situation funny because I could tell from the way he said hello first, and from the tone in his voice, that he didn't mean it in a hateful way. Student B was just upset about not getting to go on the trip, and the best way he could come up with to express that disappointment and frustration was to do what he did. It wasn't malicious, it was factual. When I first came to La Salle, I don't know that I would have understood that. Now, I have the pleasure of finding humor and camaraderie in such an exchange. He and I, in those few words, had a very human exchange. He conveyed everything he was feeling in the best way he could, and I responded in the way I though was most likely to let him know that I heard him without encouraging an escalation in his feelings. It was good. I am also pleased to report that student B had a good week in school and now gets to go skiing tomorrow.
Well, that's it for now. It's been a while since my last post, but maybe this makes up for it? I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and that you are all enjoying the wintry weather even as you anticipate the coming of spring. As always, if you have any questions or comments, you are free to leave them on the page or to email me.
Alex
Monday, February 14, 2011
Monday, December 20, 2010
26.2 Miles
First I admitted my ambition. Then I talked about donations. Now, the marathon is almost 3 weeks behind me and I suppose it's time I spoke about how it went. So here's the skinny.
First, and most important, I raised just over $800 for the Lasallian Volunteers! My goal was $1000, and I'm still hoping to reach it. If you are willing to help me, please check out the instructions in this older blog post. If you already donated, THANK YOU!, and be expecting a little something from me in the mail soon. Now, for the run itself.
Friday, December 3, Mike, Denny, and I landed in Memphis, TN where we met the other 47 or so participating volunteers, plus probably another 30 LV alumni, not to mention a whole community of Christian Brothers. PAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTYYYYYY!!!! Ok, maybe we didn't party that much, but don't blame us for that, we had to run a marathon the next day. We spent Friday afternoon wandering Memphis a little bit, hydrating, and enjoying a pasta dinner/carbo-loading session courtesy of the Bro's at Christian Brother's University. It was an early night for most, with an air of nervous excitement permeating our dreams as we psyched ourselves up for our respective races.
Saturday, December 4, the 5k runners got up a little earlier than everybody else because they had to be on the start line for a 7:15AM gun. The big business (aka the half-marathon and the full-marathon) started at 8:00. I was especially nervous as I headed out to the start for several reasons. First, I HAD NEVER EVER EVER RUN A MARATHON BEFORE! Even though I trained for months before the race, even though I'd done the long runs, even though my training had culminated in a 20 miler, I still wasn't sure I could do it. This fear was made much worse by reason number two: the week before the marathon I found that a muscle on the outside of my right thigh had gone past the point of mere soreness that had been irritating me for several weeks and instead progressed to actual pain. What was wrong with it? Would I be able to finish? The third reason I was so nervous as I approached the starting line: time corrals. There are runners at the start who have shirts and signs that say what time they will be running the marathon in. If you want to run a 5 hour race, stand by the guy with the 5 hour sign on his back. Well, I wasn't sure what my time should be. In my training I had planned for 10 minute miles, a 04h22m marathon. But then I found out how much faster some people go, some not terribly fit, not particularly well-trained people, and I thought to myself, "well, shouldn't I be able to go that fast, at least?" So, I decided to have my trepidations meet my expectations in the middle, at the 04h05m mark. A pre-race run to the porta-john and I was ready to go. I guess.
As the race began, I was pacing with 2 other LVs, Christine and Gosia. Things were going well for me until about mile 3. Then that silly muscle started to hurt, right at the point where it inserts on the outside of the knee (by the way, I have since found out what that is, it's called the ilio-tibial band, and the issue is apparently that it rubs on the femur slightly and can become tendinous if overused). Well, I kept running, just kind of powering through the mild pain, for another 5 miles or so. But then it really started to hurt, so I stopped to stretch it. That was a MISTAKE. It still hurt when I stopped and the stretching did nothing, the first couple steps back on the course were 100x worse than before I had stopped. Nonetheless, I decided to catch up to Gosia (Christine had dropped behind) so I picked up the pace a bit to close the distance. The weird thing: as soon as I accelerated the pain went away completely. I didn't feel it at all. But when I caught up to Gosia and slowed down again, the pain was back. Obvious solution? Go fast for the whole race. So I did. Kind of.
I picked up my pace around mile 8.5 and kept it up for about 10 miles. I passed hundreds of people, including the half-marathoners (who run on the same course), and felt great. But eventually my stamina ran out. Around mile 18 or 19 I just couldn't keep that speed. I had to slow down. And as soon as I did the pain was back. But now I only had a few miles left, I couldn't quit. So I just kept running. It was, in a word, terrible. My muscles all over hurt, that stupid IT Band was excruciating, I was out of energy, and only mental determination kept me going. From mile 19ish to mile 23ish was miserable. People on the sidelines would say as I ran by that I "make it look easy" or that I am "doing great." Bullsh*t. Complete and utter lies. The look of pain on my face, the uncoordinated stumbling I was doing as I went, surely gave away the struggle I was going through inside. But I kept running.
By mile 23, every mile felt like 4. I remember passing the mile 23 mark and thinking it should have been 24. Had I somehow gotten lost and gone in a loop? I was sure I had passed 23 already. But apparently not. What felt like half an hour later I passed 24. Shouldn't that have been 25? I tricked myself into continuing by believing in between mile markers that I had gone farther than I had. Finishing the race seemed so much more realistic when I thought it was not as far as it really was. It's like being on a long hike and always believing the end is just at the top of the hill. There's always another hill, but somehow you can keep going when you think there's only one. And so I kept running because I kept lying to myself.
When I got to mile 25, even lying to myself was almost not enough. I became so exhausted at one point in mile 25 that I stopped. Just for a second, but it was enough. My next step was excruciating. My IT Band was screaming at me to just sit down and do nothing. let them carry me off the course, it wouldn't matter. but I couldn't. I had trained so hard, had worked myself up so much for this race, that I couldn't stop. When would I ever run another? What would I tell the people who had donated to this effort? It just didn't seem like an option. So I kept going.
Mile 26 came with a blessing. A couple came up on me and offered a couple words of encouragement. They were local, so they pointed out where we were going. The stadium was in sight. I didn't want to lose them, so I picked up my pace enough to stay with them. We chatted and we ran. It was not a distraction from the pain, but it was a reason to ignore it. They were funny, too. As we were running, a man walking the other way on the course said (I don't know why people insist on saying this) "Yeah! You guys make it look easy." Well, I was fed up with it. "You're a damn liar!" I called back to him. The woman said to me, "don't worry, we know him. I'll hit him for that later."
The couple stayed with me to just a couple hundred yards short of the finish, then there was the single hardest moment on the entire course. You are going up a small hill (but even small hills seem huge after 26.1 miles) and there is a U-turn. Literally, you have to do a complete 180 degrees, running uphill, on a pivot. You have to break stride and turn. It was perhaps the most exhausting moment I can remember. There was a group of LV's just above that point who had done the half-marathon and the 5k. They were cheering for me as I came by. But it was just after that turn, and I simply couldn't muster a response. I wanted to. I really wanted to give them high-5s, or to call back, or to do something to acknowledge them, but i couldn't. That turn, less than 200 yards before the end, was as much as I could take. All I could focus on after that was moving forward. it took all my mental strength to continue. The hill finishes and there is a left turn into the stadium, then a left turn down the 1st base line (you come in through the outfield) and most people seemed to speed up just then. They wanted to finish strong. I wanted to finish strong, too, but just finishing was all I had the might for.
About 3 steps after the finish I bent down and put my hands on my knees to rest. i let my head just hang. A woman came up and put a finisher's medal around my neck, handed me a space blanket, and said "Do you need medical help?" That's how terrible I looked, I guess. When someone is asking if you need a doctor, you can't be looking too good. I think I managed to muster a "no," grabbed a couple bottles of water, then walked out onto the grass and stopped moving. I laid down and stayed down for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes, I don't even know. I started to get chilly after a while so I moved into the sun, then I continued my motionless state in the Memphis sunshine for another hour, at least. Other LV marathoners finished and joined me. I think I looked the worst of anybody. Ricky still had the energy to jog other people in as they finished. I couldn't even muster the will to stand. But I finished.
Eventually the lure of free post-race food and drink motivated me to stand. I took the stairs up the stadium one at a time. I moved slowly to the bag check and got my stuff, put my pants on over my shorts, and shuffled my way to the food tent. I ate the best pizza of my life (I think it was Dominoes, and it was cold, but I loved it), then headed down Beale Street to find the other LVs. We spent a little time there then headed back to CBU for a delicious BBQ dinner.
Let me tell you a bit about this dinner. One of the sororities at CBU found out we were there and cooked us some authentic southern BBQ. They started roasting the pork early that morning and roasted it all day. It was served with baked beans, amazing cole slaw, and mashed potatoes. I'm not a huge fan of BBQ, but if it tasted like that all the time, I definitely would be. Additionally, one of the LV alums local to Memphis managed to acquire a keg of Ghost River Brewing Company (Memphis local) beer to go with the dinner. The evening tasted delectable.
On the morning of Sunday, December 5th, there were a couple sore heads and some late sleepers, but most everybody was in good condition to travel, and many planes home were caught. Denny, Mike, and I had stressful connecting flights both going and coming, but luckily (I guess) Delta never departs on time, so we managed to make them. I was exhausted, and still having some very real trouble with stairs, but Monday was back to work, so back to work it was.
My recovery has been going pretty well, though as you might suspect about a person such as myself, I have definitely pushed my IT band too far, too fast. My job pretty much requires basketball in the day to day, and I also took kids on a 7 mile hike this week, so I've put myself back a bit, but I feel better daily nonetheless, so I hope to be fully fit again soon. I have some other things I would like to write about from work lately, but this post is certainly long enough already, so I am going to let them wait for my next update. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. As always, please feel free to post comments or send me an email.
Alex
PS> The stats on my finish - Overall place, 367/2427. Place in age group, 15/76. 6.2 mile mark-57m51s; 9m20s pace. 13.1 mile mark-01h56m04s; 8m52s pace. 20 mile mark-02h52m07s; 8m37s pace. finish line-03h49m34s; 8m46s pace.
First, and most important, I raised just over $800 for the Lasallian Volunteers! My goal was $1000, and I'm still hoping to reach it. If you are willing to help me, please check out the instructions in this older blog post. If you already donated, THANK YOU!, and be expecting a little something from me in the mail soon. Now, for the run itself.
Friday, December 3, Mike, Denny, and I landed in Memphis, TN where we met the other 47 or so participating volunteers, plus probably another 30 LV alumni, not to mention a whole community of Christian Brothers. PAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTYYYYYY!!!! Ok, maybe we didn't party that much, but don't blame us for that, we had to run a marathon the next day. We spent Friday afternoon wandering Memphis a little bit, hydrating, and enjoying a pasta dinner/carbo-loading session courtesy of the Bro's at Christian Brother's University. It was an early night for most, with an air of nervous excitement permeating our dreams as we psyched ourselves up for our respective races.
Saturday, December 4, the 5k runners got up a little earlier than everybody else because they had to be on the start line for a 7:15AM gun. The big business (aka the half-marathon and the full-marathon) started at 8:00. I was especially nervous as I headed out to the start for several reasons. First, I HAD NEVER EVER EVER RUN A MARATHON BEFORE! Even though I trained for months before the race, even though I'd done the long runs, even though my training had culminated in a 20 miler, I still wasn't sure I could do it. This fear was made much worse by reason number two: the week before the marathon I found that a muscle on the outside of my right thigh had gone past the point of mere soreness that had been irritating me for several weeks and instead progressed to actual pain. What was wrong with it? Would I be able to finish? The third reason I was so nervous as I approached the starting line: time corrals. There are runners at the start who have shirts and signs that say what time they will be running the marathon in. If you want to run a 5 hour race, stand by the guy with the 5 hour sign on his back. Well, I wasn't sure what my time should be. In my training I had planned for 10 minute miles, a 04h22m marathon. But then I found out how much faster some people go, some not terribly fit, not particularly well-trained people, and I thought to myself, "well, shouldn't I be able to go that fast, at least?" So, I decided to have my trepidations meet my expectations in the middle, at the 04h05m mark. A pre-race run to the porta-john and I was ready to go. I guess.
As the race began, I was pacing with 2 other LVs, Christine and Gosia. Things were going well for me until about mile 3. Then that silly muscle started to hurt, right at the point where it inserts on the outside of the knee (by the way, I have since found out what that is, it's called the ilio-tibial band, and the issue is apparently that it rubs on the femur slightly and can become tendinous if overused). Well, I kept running, just kind of powering through the mild pain, for another 5 miles or so. But then it really started to hurt, so I stopped to stretch it. That was a MISTAKE. It still hurt when I stopped and the stretching did nothing, the first couple steps back on the course were 100x worse than before I had stopped. Nonetheless, I decided to catch up to Gosia (Christine had dropped behind) so I picked up the pace a bit to close the distance. The weird thing: as soon as I accelerated the pain went away completely. I didn't feel it at all. But when I caught up to Gosia and slowed down again, the pain was back. Obvious solution? Go fast for the whole race. So I did. Kind of.
I picked up my pace around mile 8.5 and kept it up for about 10 miles. I passed hundreds of people, including the half-marathoners (who run on the same course), and felt great. But eventually my stamina ran out. Around mile 18 or 19 I just couldn't keep that speed. I had to slow down. And as soon as I did the pain was back. But now I only had a few miles left, I couldn't quit. So I just kept running. It was, in a word, terrible. My muscles all over hurt, that stupid IT Band was excruciating, I was out of energy, and only mental determination kept me going. From mile 19ish to mile 23ish was miserable. People on the sidelines would say as I ran by that I "make it look easy" or that I am "doing great." Bullsh*t. Complete and utter lies. The look of pain on my face, the uncoordinated stumbling I was doing as I went, surely gave away the struggle I was going through inside. But I kept running.
By mile 23, every mile felt like 4. I remember passing the mile 23 mark and thinking it should have been 24. Had I somehow gotten lost and gone in a loop? I was sure I had passed 23 already. But apparently not. What felt like half an hour later I passed 24. Shouldn't that have been 25? I tricked myself into continuing by believing in between mile markers that I had gone farther than I had. Finishing the race seemed so much more realistic when I thought it was not as far as it really was. It's like being on a long hike and always believing the end is just at the top of the hill. There's always another hill, but somehow you can keep going when you think there's only one. And so I kept running because I kept lying to myself.
When I got to mile 25, even lying to myself was almost not enough. I became so exhausted at one point in mile 25 that I stopped. Just for a second, but it was enough. My next step was excruciating. My IT Band was screaming at me to just sit down and do nothing. let them carry me off the course, it wouldn't matter. but I couldn't. I had trained so hard, had worked myself up so much for this race, that I couldn't stop. When would I ever run another? What would I tell the people who had donated to this effort? It just didn't seem like an option. So I kept going.
Mile 26 came with a blessing. A couple came up on me and offered a couple words of encouragement. They were local, so they pointed out where we were going. The stadium was in sight. I didn't want to lose them, so I picked up my pace enough to stay with them. We chatted and we ran. It was not a distraction from the pain, but it was a reason to ignore it. They were funny, too. As we were running, a man walking the other way on the course said (I don't know why people insist on saying this) "Yeah! You guys make it look easy." Well, I was fed up with it. "You're a damn liar!" I called back to him. The woman said to me, "don't worry, we know him. I'll hit him for that later."
The couple stayed with me to just a couple hundred yards short of the finish, then there was the single hardest moment on the entire course. You are going up a small hill (but even small hills seem huge after 26.1 miles) and there is a U-turn. Literally, you have to do a complete 180 degrees, running uphill, on a pivot. You have to break stride and turn. It was perhaps the most exhausting moment I can remember. There was a group of LV's just above that point who had done the half-marathon and the 5k. They were cheering for me as I came by. But it was just after that turn, and I simply couldn't muster a response. I wanted to. I really wanted to give them high-5s, or to call back, or to do something to acknowledge them, but i couldn't. That turn, less than 200 yards before the end, was as much as I could take. All I could focus on after that was moving forward. it took all my mental strength to continue. The hill finishes and there is a left turn into the stadium, then a left turn down the 1st base line (you come in through the outfield) and most people seemed to speed up just then. They wanted to finish strong. I wanted to finish strong, too, but just finishing was all I had the might for.
About 3 steps after the finish I bent down and put my hands on my knees to rest. i let my head just hang. A woman came up and put a finisher's medal around my neck, handed me a space blanket, and said "Do you need medical help?" That's how terrible I looked, I guess. When someone is asking if you need a doctor, you can't be looking too good. I think I managed to muster a "no," grabbed a couple bottles of water, then walked out onto the grass and stopped moving. I laid down and stayed down for 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes, I don't even know. I started to get chilly after a while so I moved into the sun, then I continued my motionless state in the Memphis sunshine for another hour, at least. Other LV marathoners finished and joined me. I think I looked the worst of anybody. Ricky still had the energy to jog other people in as they finished. I couldn't even muster the will to stand. But I finished.
Eventually the lure of free post-race food and drink motivated me to stand. I took the stairs up the stadium one at a time. I moved slowly to the bag check and got my stuff, put my pants on over my shorts, and shuffled my way to the food tent. I ate the best pizza of my life (I think it was Dominoes, and it was cold, but I loved it), then headed down Beale Street to find the other LVs. We spent a little time there then headed back to CBU for a delicious BBQ dinner.
Let me tell you a bit about this dinner. One of the sororities at CBU found out we were there and cooked us some authentic southern BBQ. They started roasting the pork early that morning and roasted it all day. It was served with baked beans, amazing cole slaw, and mashed potatoes. I'm not a huge fan of BBQ, but if it tasted like that all the time, I definitely would be. Additionally, one of the LV alums local to Memphis managed to acquire a keg of Ghost River Brewing Company (Memphis local) beer to go with the dinner. The evening tasted delectable.
On the morning of Sunday, December 5th, there were a couple sore heads and some late sleepers, but most everybody was in good condition to travel, and many planes home were caught. Denny, Mike, and I had stressful connecting flights both going and coming, but luckily (I guess) Delta never departs on time, so we managed to make them. I was exhausted, and still having some very real trouble with stairs, but Monday was back to work, so back to work it was.
My recovery has been going pretty well, though as you might suspect about a person such as myself, I have definitely pushed my IT band too far, too fast. My job pretty much requires basketball in the day to day, and I also took kids on a 7 mile hike this week, so I've put myself back a bit, but I feel better daily nonetheless, so I hope to be fully fit again soon. I have some other things I would like to write about from work lately, but this post is certainly long enough already, so I am going to let them wait for my next update. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. As always, please feel free to post comments or send me an email.
Alex
PS> The stats on my finish - Overall place, 367/2427. Place in age group, 15/76. 6.2 mile mark-57m51s; 9m20s pace. 13.1 mile mark-01h56m04s; 8m52s pace. 20 mile mark-02h52m07s; 8m37s pace. finish line-03h49m34s; 8m46s pace.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Dealing with a Minor Crisis
I've had a bit of a realization as I have tried to write these blogs: I am not a particularly good writer. There are so many things I really ought to write about, but when I start trying to put them on paper, they sound trivial or boring. The good news, though, is that I looked at the "stats" on this blog, and found that not many people are reading it ... so at least I'm not worried about lots of people thinking I'm boring, just some. But whatever.
Shortly after I came to Albany, I had 5 days of Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI) training. I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of what was going on throughout the training, and when I started working with the kids, I felt like I was pretty effectively utilizing it. It's interesting how perspective changes over time, though. There was a minor incident with a frequently problematic student tonight. I was running a Spades tournament for the evening activity and he was losing at his table. He was dealt a very poor hand and, in an attempt to force a re-deal, dropped a card under the table and tried to claim he hadn't been dealt the proper number. Well, a staff member saw the whole thing and called him out on it, which set him off. "He's cheating! He misdealt and now he's trying to blame it on me! I picked that card up off the floor! I'm not cheating! It should be a re-deal!" etc. I was working on de-escalating the situation (an effort the other staff sadly made no effort to aid) even as the other kids in the room were working as hard as they could to escalate it. The student who was caught cheating frequently gets in fights, and they seemed to think it would be sporting to edge him into violence tonight. Well, with great difficulty I got him to go outside with me to remove him from the situation, and he calmed down a little bit. But then he decided he should go back inside. And then he quit the game. But then he wanted back in the game. And then he was back to arguing about whether or not he had cheated. In the end, I managed to bring him down far enough toward his baseline behavior that I was able to get him to leave and go back to his division (where the students live).
Ideally, I would have been able to get him and his peers to a place where he could stay and finish the game, but I'm just not there yet. I think I handled the situation alright, but I also realize how overconfident I was 2 months ago, and how overconfident I probably still am. There are a lot of times when I find that I can't de-escalate a situation, or worse, that I am sometimes the cause of the situation, and I'm still growing in my ability to deal with these kids very fragile emotional states. It is so easy to bounce some of these boys from baseline to near-crisis, but so impossible to bring them back down. There are nights, especially when we play 5 on 5 basketball, that I have to step away from the situation for a couple minutes to calm myself down before I can even dream of being effective at helping them. The TCI process always starts with "What am I feeling right now?" because if we as child care workers enter into a situation with anything other than the welfare of the student in the forefront of our mind, we are almost guaranteed to fail. The most common mistake I've seen anybody make (and I don't excuse myself from the list of culprits) is failing to ask this question before engaging with a student, and the outcome can be grim if the staff fails to deal with him/her-self before dealing with a boy whose emotional coping capabilities are nearly nonexistent.
Shortly after I came to Albany, I had 5 days of Therapeutic Crisis Intervention (TCI) training. I felt like I had a pretty good grasp of what was going on throughout the training, and when I started working with the kids, I felt like I was pretty effectively utilizing it. It's interesting how perspective changes over time, though. There was a minor incident with a frequently problematic student tonight. I was running a Spades tournament for the evening activity and he was losing at his table. He was dealt a very poor hand and, in an attempt to force a re-deal, dropped a card under the table and tried to claim he hadn't been dealt the proper number. Well, a staff member saw the whole thing and called him out on it, which set him off. "He's cheating! He misdealt and now he's trying to blame it on me! I picked that card up off the floor! I'm not cheating! It should be a re-deal!" etc. I was working on de-escalating the situation (an effort the other staff sadly made no effort to aid) even as the other kids in the room were working as hard as they could to escalate it. The student who was caught cheating frequently gets in fights, and they seemed to think it would be sporting to edge him into violence tonight. Well, with great difficulty I got him to go outside with me to remove him from the situation, and he calmed down a little bit. But then he decided he should go back inside. And then he quit the game. But then he wanted back in the game. And then he was back to arguing about whether or not he had cheated. In the end, I managed to bring him down far enough toward his baseline behavior that I was able to get him to leave and go back to his division (where the students live).
Ideally, I would have been able to get him and his peers to a place where he could stay and finish the game, but I'm just not there yet. I think I handled the situation alright, but I also realize how overconfident I was 2 months ago, and how overconfident I probably still am. There are a lot of times when I find that I can't de-escalate a situation, or worse, that I am sometimes the cause of the situation, and I'm still growing in my ability to deal with these kids very fragile emotional states. It is so easy to bounce some of these boys from baseline to near-crisis, but so impossible to bring them back down. There are nights, especially when we play 5 on 5 basketball, that I have to step away from the situation for a couple minutes to calm myself down before I can even dream of being effective at helping them. The TCI process always starts with "What am I feeling right now?" because if we as child care workers enter into a situation with anything other than the welfare of the student in the forefront of our mind, we are almost guaranteed to fail. The most common mistake I've seen anybody make (and I don't excuse myself from the list of culprits) is failing to ask this question before engaging with a student, and the outcome can be grim if the staff fails to deal with him/her-self before dealing with a boy whose emotional coping capabilities are nearly nonexistent.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
LVs Running in Memphis
I have a confession to make. It's something I've been thinking about announcing for 2 months now, but I've been afraid. Afraid of saying something, of committing myself to a thing I might not be able to follow through on. But as I think more and more about this thing, I also prepare myself more and more for its eventuality. And so it is finally time for me to come out with it, to risk failure but strive for success. I am going to run the Memphis Marathon on December 4. It will be more than twice the longest distance I had ever before run, and that worried me when I signed up, but my long training runs have broken in the double digits, and I'm still alive and (mostly) healthy. So, hopefully I'll make it. There's been some stiffness and occasional pain in my right knee and both my ankles, but nothing debilitating by any means, and those have been my biggest problems so far. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and putting rubber on the road.
Having announced my plan to run the Memphis Marathon, I have to also tell you all that it would never have even occurred to me to do this if not for the fact that my whole program (the LVs) is involved. Of the 57 volunteers, almost all are running in one of the three races, either the full marathon, the half marathon, or the 5k. We are doing this in an effort to raise money for the program. Each person's goal, even those not running, is $1,000 for a total volunteer contribution of $57,000. For me to reach my goal, I need your help. There are just over 50 people on my "blog update" list, and if every one of those people donated just $20, my goal would be met. Can you help me do this? You know from my blog what I've been up to and who your donation ultimately serves, so if you consider my current endeavor worthwhile, I hope you will consider aiding the future of this program financially.
There are 2 WAYS TO MAKE A DONATION. The best for us is if you send a check to the main office in Washington D.C. The check needs to be made out to Christian Brothers Conference and needs "LV Marathon - Alex Branch" on the memo line. You can send the check to
Lasallian Volunteers
Hecker Center, Suite 300
3025 Fourth Street, NE
Washington, DC 20017
The second way to make a donation is via our online fundraising website, LVs Running in Memphis This is less preferred because the host company for the page takes a small cut from each online donation. Snail mail donations will also show up here, but don't lose the cut.
Many (though not all) of you will receive some snail mail from me regarding fundraising as well, so please be on the lookout for that.
Finally, there is one other interesting bit of news from the Volunteers. We have a new recruiting video, "I am an LV"! You can check it out on the LV website, HERE. It will introduce you to some of the other Volunteers serving around the United States and show you what else we're up to.
Peace.
Alex
Having announced my plan to run the Memphis Marathon, I have to also tell you all that it would never have even occurred to me to do this if not for the fact that my whole program (the LVs) is involved. Of the 57 volunteers, almost all are running in one of the three races, either the full marathon, the half marathon, or the 5k. We are doing this in an effort to raise money for the program. Each person's goal, even those not running, is $1,000 for a total volunteer contribution of $57,000. For me to reach my goal, I need your help. There are just over 50 people on my "blog update" list, and if every one of those people donated just $20, my goal would be met. Can you help me do this? You know from my blog what I've been up to and who your donation ultimately serves, so if you consider my current endeavor worthwhile, I hope you will consider aiding the future of this program financially.
There are 2 WAYS TO MAKE A DONATION. The best for us is if you send a check to the main office in Washington D.C. The check needs to be made out to Christian Brothers Conference and needs "LV Marathon - Alex Branch" on the memo line. You can send the check to
Lasallian Volunteers
Hecker Center, Suite 300
3025 Fourth Street, NE
Washington, DC 20017
The second way to make a donation is via our online fundraising website, LVs Running in Memphis This is less preferred because the host company for the page takes a small cut from each online donation. Snail mail donations will also show up here, but don't lose the cut.
Many (though not all) of you will receive some snail mail from me regarding fundraising as well, so please be on the lookout for that.
Finally, there is one other interesting bit of news from the Volunteers. We have a new recruiting video, "I am an LV"! You can check it out on the LV website, HERE. It will introduce you to some of the other Volunteers serving around the United States and show you what else we're up to.
Peace.
Alex
Friday, September 24, 2010
La Salle School for boys: An agent of healing since 1854
I've been promising for a while now to tell everybody out there just what it means to be at La Salle School - what this place really is, who the kids are, and what we do. Well, let the promising end. Here we go...
THE AGENCY
La Salle School has undergone a lot of changes since its founding by the Brother of the Christian Schools back in the mid-1800s. For more than a century, this place was essentially an orphanage. The kids were like any other kids, except for the primary identifying characteristic of their not having homes. So, we took them in and took care of them. La Salle began undergoing changes in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, however, and continues to change even today. We are now a facility with essentially 3-4 primary programs: day school, residential treatment, after school center, and evening reporting center. Two of these programs, day school and after school center, are voluntary. Parents choose to enroll their children in the day school or in ASC because they believe their child will benefit from the La Salle environment and opportunities. The other 2 programs are not optional. Our residential treatment center and the evening reporting center serve court adjudicated boys. ERC students live at home, go to school at other schools, and come to La Salle for evening recreation, classes, counseling, etc. I have nothing to do with the ERC, however. My job focuses entirely on the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTER
Boys in the RTC are court mandated to be at La Salle, usually for 6-12 months. They end up here for a variety of reasons. Some because the homes they live in are simply too volatile due to alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, neglect, etc on the part of the parents. Those boys tend to end up at La Salle longer than the usual 6-12 months. There are a couple boys starting college right now through our independent living program who have been at La Salle since they were 11 years old. This is not common, but it does happen. 50% of our boys are in La Salle's Juvenile Sex Victims and Offenders Program (JSVOP - Prounounced J-sop). They are here for 2 reasons. First, they are a sex victim or offender. Second, La Salle is one of (if not THE) only treatment facility in the state of New York that does not segregate JSVOP from the rest of our clients. Our facility is fully integrated, meaning there is no special division, special bedroom, or special anything to separate JSVOP clients from the other boys.
There is an important bit of philosophy behind this, a philosophy permeating this agency. We believe that these boys, all of them, are just like any other boys. They've made some bad decisions, they've been put in some unhealthy situations, they've been deprived of the social training required to live successfully with other people, and they cause a lot of trouble, but they are still good boys. We are technically part of the Juvenile Justice System in New York State, but we are not a youth detention facility, we are a treatment agency. The sign at the front of the school says "An Agent of Healing Since 1854" because we are not jailers or police officers, but social workers. We believe these boys can be helped, and we are doing our best to fulfill our potential as healers by helping them fulfill their potential as humans.
Philosophy aside, there are some other demons our boys are struggling with. Many who come here also have major issues with truancy. 100% of our boys have a DSM-IV diagnosis, and about 50% have a 2nd or 3rd DSM diagnosis. A DSM-IV diagnosis means the client has a psychological or behavioral disorder categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (1994). About half the disorders are partially defined by "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" (Wikipedia). 70% of the boys at La Salle are on psychotropic medications. About 62% of our boys screen in for chemical dependency when they arrive. Several boys have high-need medical conditions, as well.
MY JOB
My title is "Recreation Coordinator." What do I do? I run after school recreation programs for boys in the RTC. There are 70-80 boys in RTC, and the recreation department serves them in a couple ways. First, we are a complement to the work being done in the school, in therapy, with the social worker, and in the divisions (where they boys live on campus). The idea is that through recreational activity, boys can build confidence, learn new coping skills, and practice utilizing more effective coping skills. I also consider it an important part of our job to do something much simpler than help kids out of their emotional crises...we also provide a distraction. Rec is the kids' best opportunity to get out of the division, to do something preserving a semblance of a 'normal' teenage life. Basketball, flag football, cards, chess, softball, dodgeball; these things provide an alternative focus, something besides "being at la salle sucks." And I think that matters. In addition to the after school rec programs, we also do off-campus trips. Camping, canoeing, hiking, rock climbing, theme parks, professional sports games, concerts, museums, etc. These trips happen once every 1-2 weeks, typically, and sometimes more. Some trips challenge the boys to do something they aren't comfortable with (like rock climbing today), some are a chance to feel privileged, some are just fun. The trips also give us (the rec staff) a chance to get to know kids better 1 on 1. A typical backcountry (I use the term loosely) trip is 2 rec staff to about 6 kids, so there's a lot more chance to interact, talk, and build up relationships. It's benefit on both ends.
So what else do I say about this place? I can't say that I have a full grasp yet of what goes on here, but I'm excited about the philosophy, I'm excited about the boys, and I'm excited about the job. As I come up with more wonderful things to tell you, you will get to read them.
Until then,
Alex
PS. As always, please feel free to comment or email me with questions and thoughts.
THE AGENCY
La Salle School has undergone a lot of changes since its founding by the Brother of the Christian Schools back in the mid-1800s. For more than a century, this place was essentially an orphanage. The kids were like any other kids, except for the primary identifying characteristic of their not having homes. So, we took them in and took care of them. La Salle began undergoing changes in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, however, and continues to change even today. We are now a facility with essentially 3-4 primary programs: day school, residential treatment, after school center, and evening reporting center. Two of these programs, day school and after school center, are voluntary. Parents choose to enroll their children in the day school or in ASC because they believe their child will benefit from the La Salle environment and opportunities. The other 2 programs are not optional. Our residential treatment center and the evening reporting center serve court adjudicated boys. ERC students live at home, go to school at other schools, and come to La Salle for evening recreation, classes, counseling, etc. I have nothing to do with the ERC, however. My job focuses entirely on the Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
RESIDENTIAL TREATMENT CENTER
Boys in the RTC are court mandated to be at La Salle, usually for 6-12 months. They end up here for a variety of reasons. Some because the homes they live in are simply too volatile due to alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, neglect, etc on the part of the parents. Those boys tend to end up at La Salle longer than the usual 6-12 months. There are a couple boys starting college right now through our independent living program who have been at La Salle since they were 11 years old. This is not common, but it does happen. 50% of our boys are in La Salle's Juvenile Sex Victims and Offenders Program (JSVOP - Prounounced J-sop). They are here for 2 reasons. First, they are a sex victim or offender. Second, La Salle is one of (if not THE) only treatment facility in the state of New York that does not segregate JSVOP from the rest of our clients. Our facility is fully integrated, meaning there is no special division, special bedroom, or special anything to separate JSVOP clients from the other boys.
There is an important bit of philosophy behind this, a philosophy permeating this agency. We believe that these boys, all of them, are just like any other boys. They've made some bad decisions, they've been put in some unhealthy situations, they've been deprived of the social training required to live successfully with other people, and they cause a lot of trouble, but they are still good boys. We are technically part of the Juvenile Justice System in New York State, but we are not a youth detention facility, we are a treatment agency. The sign at the front of the school says "An Agent of Healing Since 1854" because we are not jailers or police officers, but social workers. We believe these boys can be helped, and we are doing our best to fulfill our potential as healers by helping them fulfill their potential as humans.
Philosophy aside, there are some other demons our boys are struggling with. Many who come here also have major issues with truancy. 100% of our boys have a DSM-IV diagnosis, and about 50% have a 2nd or 3rd DSM diagnosis. A DSM-IV diagnosis means the client has a psychological or behavioral disorder categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (1994). About half the disorders are partially defined by "clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning" (Wikipedia). 70% of the boys at La Salle are on psychotropic medications. About 62% of our boys screen in for chemical dependency when they arrive. Several boys have high-need medical conditions, as well.
MY JOB
My title is "Recreation Coordinator." What do I do? I run after school recreation programs for boys in the RTC. There are 70-80 boys in RTC, and the recreation department serves them in a couple ways. First, we are a complement to the work being done in the school, in therapy, with the social worker, and in the divisions (where they boys live on campus). The idea is that through recreational activity, boys can build confidence, learn new coping skills, and practice utilizing more effective coping skills. I also consider it an important part of our job to do something much simpler than help kids out of their emotional crises...we also provide a distraction. Rec is the kids' best opportunity to get out of the division, to do something preserving a semblance of a 'normal' teenage life. Basketball, flag football, cards, chess, softball, dodgeball; these things provide an alternative focus, something besides "being at la salle sucks." And I think that matters. In addition to the after school rec programs, we also do off-campus trips. Camping, canoeing, hiking, rock climbing, theme parks, professional sports games, concerts, museums, etc. These trips happen once every 1-2 weeks, typically, and sometimes more. Some trips challenge the boys to do something they aren't comfortable with (like rock climbing today), some are a chance to feel privileged, some are just fun. The trips also give us (the rec staff) a chance to get to know kids better 1 on 1. A typical backcountry (I use the term loosely) trip is 2 rec staff to about 6 kids, so there's a lot more chance to interact, talk, and build up relationships. It's benefit on both ends.
So what else do I say about this place? I can't say that I have a full grasp yet of what goes on here, but I'm excited about the philosophy, I'm excited about the boys, and I'm excited about the job. As I come up with more wonderful things to tell you, you will get to read them.
Until then,
Alex
PS. As always, please feel free to comment or email me with questions and thoughts.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Orientation and community.
So I'm trying to keep this blog, but really, I'm failing horribly. It seems like every time I've tried to sit down and write, I've found that either my mind has gone blank or I've been uncomfortable posting my real thoughts for just anyone out there. To get things going, I sat down last night and wrote on paper instead, and I came up with what I hope is some good stuff. I won't write it all here, but most of it is in the words that follow...
ORIENTATION: WAY too long. I am virtually incapable of enjoying time spent in groups of more than 5, and I am almost totally incapable of enjoying outings with 56 strangers (OK, I knew some already, so let's say 51 or so), so twelve days with that many people, all the time, was not the greatest thing for me. I'm just not that kind of socialite. There's always too much gossip, too much intrigue, too many cliques. It might not have been so difficult for me if it had been shorter, but even in a small group twelve days is a long time for me, and with that many, it was bordering on interminable for me by the end. All that being said, though, I gladly admit these were not unenjoyable (if that's a word) people. I probably didn't become lifelong friends with any of them in twelve days, but I don't think I made any enemies, either (I hope?). I didn't laugh hysterically, or cry my eyes out, but I definitely learned a few things, probably even some things I haven't yet realized. There were a lot of life experiences, there were a lot of perspectives, and there was a lot of sharing, so it certainly wasn't all bad, it just wasn't really me.
MY COMMUNITY: I live with 5 other men - 3 Brothers (FSC) and 2 Lasallian Volunteers.
Br. Richard is awesome. He's kind of like the grandfather in our house. As community director, he's in charge of how the house is run, and as a person, he's very much my style. Short. Bald. Tight skinned. Tough. IRISH. He tells you what he's thinking, has an almost subversive sense of humor, and makes no bones about being generous and good-hearted. All around, he's just a good guy.
Br. Bernard is more of an introvert and less likely to be the comic of the group, which is of course why so much of what he says is hilarious! He's a beachcomber who never throws ANYTHING away if he thinks there could ever be a use for it, he's a stickler for tradition, and he's an accountant. He's a little checked out from the community and the school, but he's content to take care of the business and do his own thing so long as you're content to let him.
Br. John is a man who I do not seem to see eye-to-eye with. My goal with him is simply to find a common ground on which we can meet with tolerance and goodwill, because our personalities clash in a very real way. We aren't about to get in a shouting match or anything, but we're also not likely to intentionally initiate conversation with one another. To me, John's biggest redeeming factor is that he has a genuine interest in the kids' success, and if anyone needed something from him, I don't think he would hesitate to provide it.
The two volunteers in my community are Denny and Mike, and these guys are great. Denny has an enthusiasm and personality that is infectious. He's the kind of guy that drives you crazy if you're on the outside looking in, but who is invaluable if you're part of his crowd. He's an organizer, an enabler (in a good way), a good listener, a sincere speaker, and a genuinely nice person. I think Denny could hurt somebody by accident, but I'm sure he could never do it intentionally. He would give up so much to help his friends, and all his actions seem to come from his good humor and kindness combined. He is one of the few people I have ever met who I feel I can say "this person deserves all the good that will come his way." And believe me, there will be a lot. He is bound for the top of whatever he does, because leadership fits him.
Mike is a totally different guy, awesome in his own unique way. His strength comes from within him. He is searching for a direction in life and, while he will enjoy this year of service, I don't think he'll find what he's looking for here. Where some (Denny included) seek validation and support from others, Mike is trying to find something that will allow him to validate himself from within. He isn't truly confident anywhere, and he has some fear in him, but I think that when he finds his home he will flourish, grow, and give back. I think Mike is in this program somewhat on a whim, as another part of his search, but I also think he's in it because he cares about contributing to the causes of people who need him. There is a depth of feeling in Mike that is hard to tap but (I think) once tapped will be virtually bottomless. When he finally finds himself truly balanced, he will be a center of calm in a turbulent world, the place tossed ships and lost people find respite and renewal.
So how does all this fit together? I can't say I know, but I think it's either a jigsaw with all the right pieces, or a depth charge. Mike, Denny, and I have begun bonding really well. I think the three of us really have the ability to support one another like brothers through the coming year, and I think we will. I also think there might be times when we won't even like each other, but don't all brothers have those times? I already know that if those guys ask me for something, I probably won't have the ability to say no. In the 4 weeks we've been together, I have become attached to them in a way I certainly didn't expect. I look up to Denny as the second year volunteer who can do more to guide me into and through this next couple months than anyone else, and I look to Mike as the man who will be there to remind me what's what when I need it, but who will need to remind him of the same from time to time.
So, I hope this entry begins to paint a picture for you of what's going on in my life at the moment. I will try to put up another entry soon that talks more about my school and what I do there. Until then, feel free (as always) to leave me comments or send me an email with questions you have. If you sent me an email last time I posted and I haven't responded yet, please forgive me. I'm a bit busy, but I will be getting to them soon (I hope).
-Alex
ORIENTATION: WAY too long. I am virtually incapable of enjoying time spent in groups of more than 5, and I am almost totally incapable of enjoying outings with 56 strangers (OK, I knew some already, so let's say 51 or so), so twelve days with that many people, all the time, was not the greatest thing for me. I'm just not that kind of socialite. There's always too much gossip, too much intrigue, too many cliques. It might not have been so difficult for me if it had been shorter, but even in a small group twelve days is a long time for me, and with that many, it was bordering on interminable for me by the end. All that being said, though, I gladly admit these were not unenjoyable (if that's a word) people. I probably didn't become lifelong friends with any of them in twelve days, but I don't think I made any enemies, either (I hope?). I didn't laugh hysterically, or cry my eyes out, but I definitely learned a few things, probably even some things I haven't yet realized. There were a lot of life experiences, there were a lot of perspectives, and there was a lot of sharing, so it certainly wasn't all bad, it just wasn't really me.
MY COMMUNITY: I live with 5 other men - 3 Brothers (FSC) and 2 Lasallian Volunteers.
Br. Richard is awesome. He's kind of like the grandfather in our house. As community director, he's in charge of how the house is run, and as a person, he's very much my style. Short. Bald. Tight skinned. Tough. IRISH. He tells you what he's thinking, has an almost subversive sense of humor, and makes no bones about being generous and good-hearted. All around, he's just a good guy.
Br. Bernard is more of an introvert and less likely to be the comic of the group, which is of course why so much of what he says is hilarious! He's a beachcomber who never throws ANYTHING away if he thinks there could ever be a use for it, he's a stickler for tradition, and he's an accountant. He's a little checked out from the community and the school, but he's content to take care of the business and do his own thing so long as you're content to let him.
Br. John is a man who I do not seem to see eye-to-eye with. My goal with him is simply to find a common ground on which we can meet with tolerance and goodwill, because our personalities clash in a very real way. We aren't about to get in a shouting match or anything, but we're also not likely to intentionally initiate conversation with one another. To me, John's biggest redeeming factor is that he has a genuine interest in the kids' success, and if anyone needed something from him, I don't think he would hesitate to provide it.
The two volunteers in my community are Denny and Mike, and these guys are great. Denny has an enthusiasm and personality that is infectious. He's the kind of guy that drives you crazy if you're on the outside looking in, but who is invaluable if you're part of his crowd. He's an organizer, an enabler (in a good way), a good listener, a sincere speaker, and a genuinely nice person. I think Denny could hurt somebody by accident, but I'm sure he could never do it intentionally. He would give up so much to help his friends, and all his actions seem to come from his good humor and kindness combined. He is one of the few people I have ever met who I feel I can say "this person deserves all the good that will come his way." And believe me, there will be a lot. He is bound for the top of whatever he does, because leadership fits him.
Mike is a totally different guy, awesome in his own unique way. His strength comes from within him. He is searching for a direction in life and, while he will enjoy this year of service, I don't think he'll find what he's looking for here. Where some (Denny included) seek validation and support from others, Mike is trying to find something that will allow him to validate himself from within. He isn't truly confident anywhere, and he has some fear in him, but I think that when he finds his home he will flourish, grow, and give back. I think Mike is in this program somewhat on a whim, as another part of his search, but I also think he's in it because he cares about contributing to the causes of people who need him. There is a depth of feeling in Mike that is hard to tap but (I think) once tapped will be virtually bottomless. When he finally finds himself truly balanced, he will be a center of calm in a turbulent world, the place tossed ships and lost people find respite and renewal.
So how does all this fit together? I can't say I know, but I think it's either a jigsaw with all the right pieces, or a depth charge. Mike, Denny, and I have begun bonding really well. I think the three of us really have the ability to support one another like brothers through the coming year, and I think we will. I also think there might be times when we won't even like each other, but don't all brothers have those times? I already know that if those guys ask me for something, I probably won't have the ability to say no. In the 4 weeks we've been together, I have become attached to them in a way I certainly didn't expect. I look up to Denny as the second year volunteer who can do more to guide me into and through this next couple months than anyone else, and I look to Mike as the man who will be there to remind me what's what when I need it, but who will need to remind him of the same from time to time.
So, I hope this entry begins to paint a picture for you of what's going on in my life at the moment. I will try to put up another entry soon that talks more about my school and what I do there. Until then, feel free (as always) to leave me comments or send me an email with questions you have. If you sent me an email last time I posted and I haven't responded yet, please forgive me. I'm a bit busy, but I will be getting to them soon (I hope).
-Alex
Thursday, August 12, 2010
The beginning of a story...
One of the boys told me a bit of his story the other day. The short of it is something like this:
His mom kicked out of the house when he was 13. He didn't have any other family to take him in, so he moved in with a friend and started selling drugs to support himself. He's bounced around, crashing at various friends' places over the years, and was most recently living with his girlfriend. But they just broke up, so he's got a home visit this weekend in which he's packing up all his stuff and looking for a new place to live.
But I hope to see him back here on Monday.
His mom kicked out of the house when he was 13. He didn't have any other family to take him in, so he moved in with a friend and started selling drugs to support himself. He's bounced around, crashing at various friends' places over the years, and was most recently living with his girlfriend. But they just broke up, so he's got a home visit this weekend in which he's packing up all his stuff and looking for a new place to live.
But I hope to see him back here on Monday.
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