A special thank you

I have to take a moment to give a special thank you.  A lot of very generous people responded to my last post by donating to my effort to attend the Lasallian Volunteers midyear retreat.  As of yesterday, my flights are booked!  It´s going to take 4 different itineraries to get to Albany and back, and 3 layovers each way, for a round trip total of more than 30 hours of travel, but it will be absolutely worth it.  To the many of you who made this possible, THANK YOU.  Really, truly, sincerely, thank you.  I was honestly very worried that I wouldn´t be able to go, but the response of my friends and family has been incredible.  Besides the donations, I also received some very thoughtful and encouraging words from you, and for those of you reading this now, know that it means a lot to me just to think that you´re taking the time to follow what´s going on in my life, let alone that you might concern yourself enough to write me an e-mail.  It´s easy to feel alone in the world, and it can be hard to reach out and help somebody feel connected.  Thank you for reaching out to me.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas (or, if you don´t celebrate Christmas, a wonderful few days off work, at least), and a happy New Year, assuming of course that the world doesn´t end tomorrow.

Alex

Reflecting on a semester past

Well, dear readers, the semester is over.  I arrived at Utopía under a new moon, and have marked the passing months by its wax and wane.  The semester finished under its determined gaze, and we now move forward into the break guided again by only the light of the stars.  This seems as good a time as any, and in fact better than most, to reflect on these first three months.

To begin with, I can hardly believe the semester is already over.  It feels like this should be just a weekend, and all the students will be here again on Monday to continue this routine we have.  The passage of time is difficult to mark here, especially without the usual coming of fall, the quick change into winter, and the expectation of snow.  We are just about to begin the Colombia summer, and every day feels a little more like what I expect from August.  But instead, everyone has left for a full month to recuperate, to work, and to do what they do.  I won’t see them again until January.  As for reflecting on the past, though…

Teaching English in Colombia is a challenge, no doubt about it, and especially in this program.  Students are up at 5:30 in the morning for “productive practice,” where they work in the field until breakfast.  With another 4 to 6 hours of class in a day, they’ve put in a full time week before they even start their homework, which they dedicate themselves to with some gusto.  Most are headed for bed by ten o’clock, and almost all are asleep by twelve.  The most common phrase I hear in class is, “teacher, tengo sueño,” that is, “I’m tired,” and they usually they say it in a tone of voice that implies, “I’m exhausted and about to fall asleep on my desk.”   Add to this the fact that English is, though required, considered extracurricular, and it won’t come as a huge surprise that frequently my question, “Did you do the homework?” is met by noncommittal looks and excuses. 

I certainly don’t blame my students for not doing their English homework, and I sympathize with their situation.  What I meant when I said that English is required but extracurricular is that students of Universidad de La Salle are required to demonstrate an intermediate English level in order to graduate, but the University doesn’t require that they take their language courses internally.  If they do choose to study English here, their grades in the language don’t affect their GPA, so of course if they have to choose between their biochemistry homework and their English homework that doesn’t affect their overall grades, they’re going to choose biochemistry.  Llike I said, it doesn’t upset or offend me, however it does make teaching difficult.  There was one particular day when not a single person in a class of 23 had even attempted the homework.  Unfortunately for all, test grades reflected out of class prep time.  Of my 112 students, 51 did not pass the course, and of the 61 who did pass, the vast majority did so with a D or a C.  The number of As and Bs could be counted on two hands.

Going forward, it is unclear what this means.  The students (and their classes) are organized into six blocks – 2 groups of first year students, 2 groups of second years, and 2 groups of third years.  With some from every group passing and some failing, we don’t know how we can arrange the schedule for next semester.  I certainly don’t have the ability to spend 48 hours a week in instruction.  We’re waiting to find out if we might receive an assistant language teacher from Bogotá for the next semester, but there is not yet any concrete evidence that will happen, and I don’t have a lot of hope.  But, well, we’ll see.

This semester was difficult on a personal level, too.  People here ask me all the time if I miss my family and friends, and I always tell them that I’ve lived away from home for a long time already and this isn’t a big deal.  That isn’t completely true, though.  When I was teaching in New Zealand (June-August, 2009) I was living in a “community” of Brothers (all of two people that I hardly ever saw) and working in a school where I was closer in age to the students than the teachers.  I had no transportation, no friends, and a lot of free time to sit around with my thoughts for company.  I found ways to occupy myself, and I wrote A LOT in a journal I had to submit for my course at Saint Mary’s.  I didn’t realize how difficult that experience really was until the end of the course, when my instructor (who will read this blog post) commented on how appreciably estranged I was from any significant social interaction.  I think it didn’t bother me at the time because I was happy in my work and because I knew I was only there for three months.  In a short time, I would go back to my friends and community at Saint Mary’s feeling that much better about life for having taken the time to both give and receive.  Evaluating my Colombia experience to date in light of that experience, there are some parallels, and some things that are even more difficult.

Colombia is the same in that I am somewhat estranged here, too.  I am friendly with my co-workers and my students, but between my natural reticence and the significant linguistic and cultural barriers, I have found it very difficult to foster meaningful relationships.  I hold all my thoughts in my head, saying them only to myself, not necessarily because I lack anyone else to say them to, but because I lack the words to say them.  Add that I tend to be a relatively reserved person to begin with and I think it´s clear why life here has been socially difficult.

I also feel sometimes as though I lack freedom.  Utopía is about 6 miles up a pretty terrible road, and opportunities to get into town are few and far between… not that there’s a lot I need to do in Yopal, but it would be nice to have the option.  Unfortunately, my days off this semester were Friday and Sunday.  Friday ended up being my planning day since there wouldn´t be any way for me to get back from Yopal before class Saturday, and there´s no pointing going on Sunday because everything is closed.  So, in the end, I mostly just never left campus, and that starts to feel a little confining after a while. 

Lastly, it´s often difficult to stay motivated when so many of my students don´t seem interested/willing to do the work.  I have one class, especially, that I have to mentally prepare myself for before I could go.  This particular group of students never does the homework, resists any efforts toward having a focused or productive class, and is generally poorly enough behaved (and yes, we´re talking about university students) that I´m tempted on occasion to tell them all to just leave.  In our second to last class, I finally did tell them that anybody who didn´t want to come to the last class before the exam didn´t have to.  I was not surprised when only five showed up for that session.  I was also not surprised when four of those students were four of the five in that entire group to pass the course.  What´s so difficult about it is that my students all recognize the importance of learning English for their professional futures, they will happily expound on the many benefits it will provide them, and they all say they want to learn it, but they resist so stoically my attempts to teach it to them.   Staying motivated, feeling satisfied in the work, is incredibly difficult some days.

In the midst of all this whining, I do have some good news.  The Lasallian Volunteers (most of you will remember that I worked with them the last two years) have invited me to join them in New York this January for their mid-year retreat.  It´s a long way to go for a 3 day retreat, but it will be absolutely worth it.  The LVs are an inspiring group of people and, in the midst of the many difficulties, time with them always reminds me of the grand purpose this Lasallian mission has worked toward for more than 300 years, namely changing the world through education.  Sharing with them, hearing their stories and telling mine, never fails to revitalize my spirit and prepare me for the work ahead.  Saint John Baptist de La Salle knew how important community is, it´s why his teachers lived together and it led to their first heroic vow.  Recognizing the power of this community, I am super excited to have the opportunity to share time with them. 

Of course, as with all things, this won´t be easy, and I have a selfish request to make of you.  You see, the flight from Colombia to New York and back is not exactly cheap, and volunteering doesn´t really pay well.  I am hoping those of you who read this blog might be willing to help me out?  I wouldn´t ask if I could afford to do it on my own, but I´m afraid the funds just aren´t there.  Would you be willing to donate to my mental and spiritual well-being?  If so, you can send a donation (please make any check out to ´´Christian Brother´s Conference´´) to:

Attn: LVs/Alex Branch

Hecker Center, Suite 300

3025 Fourth Street, NE

Washington, DC 20017

So, I hope this blog finds all of you well, that you are getting into the festive spirit of the holidays and looking forward to a brief rest from the usual routine.  As always, please feel free to comment or send me an email.

Alex